Show us the straight path

shaliza mokhtar

heh, sape shaliza mokhtar? hehe.. aku pun x kenal sape, tp hr ni baru aku terprasan kewujudan fotopage dia yang mmg best... superb... (naiza's favorite link) gambar kat bawah ni gambar shaliza (kalo x salah aku le, hehe) ni masa dia wat pameran utk kelas fotografi dia (mengikut kpd penerangan kat fotopage dia tu le, hehe..)to shaliza, sorila ye, curik gmbr skeping, wat promo skit :)

ada bbrp org dlm gmbr² kat fotopage dia tu aku mcm kenal je, ehhe.. tp xtau le kalo derang tu kenal aku ke x.. one is fakhrul rozy<- adik's friend masa skolah sksp dulu, dan adiknye fakrul nizam <- junior aku masa kat sains kedah :) dan derang nye artwork pun mmg superb jugak.. cayalah adik² ~ hehe.. all the best... pis~!!

p/s terus aku rasa teruja untuk mengambil gambar, hehe.. tp kamera? tu la masalahnye.. kamera pun xdak, lagi mao amik gmbr, ape daa.. trpksa la pnjm kamera si lina lagi ni, hehe...

a wedding and an engagement ceremony

rasanya macam baru je aku pegi ke KLIA hantar cif balik US, rasa mcm baru jugak aku pi raya haji umah dia, jumpa kasim, jumpa dik wi.. macam baru ja aku pi kenduri kawen kakak dia - rukhirawati, macam baru gak aku pi kenduri bangcak dia.. sapa nak sangka, member aku sorang nih, dah kawen!! hehe.. attended his akad nikah ceremony kat masjid sungkai in pekan lama sungkai, sebelah rumah isteri dia - shadeah champange binti mat ali @ gary champange.. dan pada hari jumaat tu - 23 april 2005, maka sahle mohd rukhaire abdul rahim jadi laki orang, tahniah, tahniah, semoga berkekalan hingga ke akhirat..

sneek preview - click photo to view more pics :)

aku sampai sungkai dalam kul 4. gerak dari umah kat tasik putra at around 2.30 sorang sorang drive ikut jln lama, maleh nk naik hiway- sep skit duit tol ;P aku ikut jln tasik putra - batu gajah - kampar - tapah - bidor - sungkai. alhamdu lillah slamat sampai.. jln pun ok, tenang je, xde tensi tensi.. sampai kat masjid tu xde org lagi.. sangap gak dok tunggu dlm keta, dkt nk masuk waktu asar baru aku masuk dlm masjid.. pas abih solat asar aku nampak kelibat matcif kat luar tu.. mmg bole cam dari gaya berjalannya.. hehe.. akad nikah berjalan lancar, cuma dia wat 2 kali sbb aku rs sbb tok kadi tu ala ala kompius camana nk nyebut nama si shadeah tu, hehe.. ada ke memula tu dia sebut cam-pak-ney, hehehe.. mmg la kompius, tetiba ada plak nama omputeh kat situ, hehe.. pape pun, semuanya slamat.. pas jamuan ptg tu - makan mi kari, aku ingt nk balik je ke tronoh.. malas plak nk stay utk esok nye kenduri.. tapi setelah dipaksa dan dipujuk oleh kak aa dan mak kerie tu maka aku pun berkeputusan untuk stay dgn derang.. ramai gak rombongan dari kodiang ni.. mak pengantin, kakak pengantin, bangcak dan isterinya - kak yani, kak da, kak intan, tok wa, mak kak yani, adik kak yani- ain, dik yu, anak bangcak ngn kak yani - fahmi ngn muaz, anak kak aa - nur hana khairina..

sok paginye tu aku dpt sms dari kak lin - azlenda amir, nk bertunang plak.. huhu.. so pas kenduri cif tu aku mntk diri cepat cepat sbb nk kejar ke kenduri kak lin kat arena kepayang putra, ipoh... masa kenduri cif ngn shadeah tu aku siap join makan kat meja pengantin, haha.. lawak tul, maklumle kan, konon rombongan pengantin lelaki.. sedap plak makan kat situ, nk plak dapat udang galah sekor, pastu si ain tu plak x makan udangnye, dah passing kat aku, harusla aku amik je, makan dua ekor, kweng kweng kweng... suasana mmg meriah, siap ada plak sorang makcik ni nyanyi live kat bawah umah tu.. memula nyanyi mcm sedap, pastu xtau nape jadik serak, pitching lari skit, pastu dah kena tukar key rendah, x sampai nk tarik lagu tinggi, hehe.. umah tu umah lama sedara mara shadeah kalo x salah aku.. lg 2 thn genap 100 years.. dinding kayu cengal mmg kekal dari dulu.. maknye kata cuma dh penah tukar bumbung ngn lantai.. pengantin mmg comel, sama cantik sama padan, dan kalo tgk betul betul, gigi mmg sama, hehe...

dlm kul 1.45 aku rush balik ke ipoh, sampai kat bidor aku masuk ikut hiway, dkt kul 3 gak baru sampai umah kak lin.. sama je masanya kan.. ampeh tul... sampai je kat umah kak lin tu majlis dh selesai tinggal sedara mara dia je tgh mkn² dan aku dgn slumber nye makan le lagi skali, haha.. td mkn nasik kenduri, skang mkn nasik putih ngn gulai tempoyak ikan terubuk... isk sedapnye lah, hehe.. pastu mkn kek plak ;P kek besday makcik kak lin.. masa nk balik siap dibekalkan aku ngn nasik kenduri dan lauk.. bole aku wat makan mlm ngn hari ahad skali, hehe.. alhamdu lillah, rezeki... pastu mak kak lin beria suh aku amik daun sireh yg ada dlm hantaran tu, nk wat ape ye? dia kata bg cepat skit kawen, hahaha.. ada ke.. dahle suh aku mkn daun tu sesaja, punyale pahit, isk isk, x sanggup aku, harusla kuluahkannya kembali, erkss... kalo sedap mcm mkn sireh dau kadok tu ok gak, isk, lamanye x makan ye, sedap tul... eh lupa lak nk bitau ngn sape kak lin bertunang? hehe.. sape lagi kalo bukan ruhann sapian.. tp tu la, aku smp lmbt so x smpt nk jumpa ngn ruhann, pape pung, kak lin, ruhann, kenduri jgn lupa jemput chek naa.. ;P

kak leen - azlenda amir, greeny on the engagement day :)

p/s cif, sori la weh, aku x bg hadiah pung, huhu~

Keputeraan DYMM Sultan Perak

it has been almost 7 years am studying, working, living (wuteva) in perak, specifically in tronoh.. menjejakkan kaki kali pertama ke sini in may 1998 aku down giler sbb kene duduk di rural area yg jauh dr kampung halaman dan sedara mara.. menangis aku masa salam ngn mak ngn ayah sblm derang bergerak balik pas hntr aku tu.. sedih sbb tercampak ke sini, sedih sbb x dpt fly.. sedih, seme pun sedih.. tp dlm masa tu sama kinda relieved too because am not the one being deserted here, sum of my classmates from ppp were also here.. hehe..

dan hr ni, aku rasa dah kali keenam la kot aku bercuti sbb Hari Keputeraan Sultan Perak, Sultan Azlan Muhibbudin Shah hehe.. daripada sedih sgt nk duduk sini dulu tp skrg ni pesal la mcm dah x reti reti nk blk ke kampung? nk berkampung kat sini ke? eh eh, perlu ke? x perlu la kan..

ipoh? lumut? manjung? tmpt² yg besa aku pegi, jlnnye? insyaAllah xde hal la kalo ditanya how to go and how to find some familiar places.. bila dh lama kat sini, kdg² rs mcm one place to another is kinda near, x jauh.. pdhl perak ni bole la dikatakan negeri yg mcm besar jugak.. from tronoh to teluk intan, kampung gajah, taiping, kuala kangsar, and cameron highlands... bole slumber je setuju nk pegi kalo ada aktiviti yg dijalankan kat tmpt² tu, heh.. gila..

some information from the net on Perak here, here, here, and here..

and wanna share some info found too as a glimpse of Perak:

"The state is divided into nine districts and its major towns include, Ipoh, Kuala Kangsar, Taiping, Teluk Intan and Lumut. Kuala Kangsar is the royal town of Perak, while Ipoh is the administrative centre and state capital. For centuries, Perak was renowned for its rich tin deposits. It is believed that the state derived its name, which means silver in Malay, from the silvery tin ore."

dan aku la tu yg berumah kat tapak bekas lombong timah tu, tasik putra!! hehehe...

Extra tips for PAC candidates

hehe.. actually i'm not the right person to give out the tips, but then just wanna share the do's and dont's during the PAC attended...

1. wear smart attire, office attire, ladies, baju kurung is preferable, bukan xleh pakai baju kebaya, tapi kalo mcm ada terbelah belah tu dia x gemar sgt, seluar? bole jugak, tp org kerajaan kan, aku rasa derang prefer baju kurung, kalo korporat bole la pakai seluar seluar ni... guys, white shirt and black pants are preferable.. tp kalo x de tu i think pastel colour of shirt will do, light ones, light yellow, light blue, light green.. no coats/blazers are allowed but then depends on the facis though.. kasut kilat skit bang ye.. jgn le pakai yg berasap sgt.. kakak kakak pls wear high heel shoes, xperlu la smp 3 inci tu kan.. 1/2 to 1 inch will do.. lebeh pun bole..

2. walk smart, act like a goverment servant, although you are yet to be appointed as one.. kene tnjk the smart way of walking, gaya kepegawaian haruslah diserlahkan.. how? aku pun x sure, tgkje la camana pegawai pegawai kita berjalan, hehe.. kalo bawak beg atau fail, pegang leklok, like a pegawai.. jgn angkat kain atau kaki seluar while walking.. act smart ok..

3. smile smart- derang kata pegawai kerajaan ni ada one kind of smile, ye ke? hehe.. aku pun x prasan mcmana.. tp smile la, bukan kenyih, satgi dok tnjk gigi byk sgt, dah macam kerang busuk plak...

4. talk smart - of course.. speak as much as possible, brilliant on of course, jgn byk sgt mengarut.. jgn emosional.. cool skit.. pegawai kena cool, tau control keadaan.. for acitivities in groups where you need to discuss and the present the discussion, offer yourself to be the chairperson of the discussion or maybe as the presenter.. show yourself off.. show the determination and the leadership skill in you.. kalo xde tu pun x pe, berlakon je, only for 3 days man.. hehe.. and the issues picked for the public speaking, ensure that it is smart.. and you mastered the topic chosen..

you'll be assessed from the bottom to the top, the way you walk, the way you sit, the way you talk, your body language, your eye contact, the way you present yourself, everything.. sum ppl said, it was like the game series - The Apprentice, hehe.. (dh nk abih season 2, dh tau pun sapa yg menang, hehe.. kat US dh start season 3 ;P)

so all the best ye for those going, and for those who had gone for the PAC.. ganbatte kudasai~ :)>-

PAC Finale

day 3.. fewwhhh.. at last, it’s the final day.. didn’t think much oledi about this assessment, just thinking of going home.. mkn mi goring and roti for breakfast, sedap.. sum ppl said INTURA had the best café of all INTAN all over Malaysia.. ye ke? hehehe.. tp mmg sedap gak le..

then went up for the next activity – Debat Ala Parlimen.. i was on the pencadang side, a YB from Sungai Petani, hehehe… the title was “Pembangunan adalah lebih penting daripada pemeliharaan alam sekitar untuk kesejahteraan rakyat”… we had to defend on the stand and my point was on pembangunan untuk kepentingan sosial dan kebajikan… on how pembangunan is very important untuk menjamin keselesaan rakyat setempat, dengan penyediaan system penapisan dan system pembuangan sampah yang terancang, and this YB from Jeli and Kuala Nerang kept debating on my hujah, hehe.. sungguh meriah.. siap tepuk tepuk meja, mcm dlm parlimen tu la.. session goes for 1.5 hours, then we went for morning break, a roti canai, pun sedap..

then we had this talk by Tuan Haji Abdul Halim, an important figure from INTAN Bukit Kiara, the one in charged on the PAC being held all over Malaysia on what is Perkhidmatan Tadbir dan Diplomatik (PTD).. the scope of work and the salary… kinda interesting and kinda boring too.. hahaha…

went for lunch, the final one.. sedap betul gado-gado nye tu.. huhu.. pastu kak lin went home, sempat gak amik number fon je.. tp xde la rs sedih pun nk end up the session tu sbb mmg dh x sabar nk balik, letih giler.. sakit kaki pas lari smlm tu x ilang pun lagi… met some old friends from those days, hehe.. from convent school, harniza, kak mazni, from matjiwa, amirul and a junior, can’t remember the name, hehe.. and from utp, ummul, mayo and one kakak IT, pun x ingt nama.. also met ustaz hassan’s daughter, kak haslinda, nasrul, a silat member from USM Penang and sum familiar faces, but couldn’t recall where did I met them before…

not really hoping to pass the assessment since i realized that i performed badly, hehe.. nemind, can always try again next time, insyaAllah.. from the 13,000 candidates sitted for the test last January, only around 2000 passed and selected for the PAC, and only 900 to be called for interview after June, and 300 to be appointed as PTD, and only 5 will be very lucky to become a Diplomat!! ghee.. harapanku sgt tipis skali, hehehe… tp org kata kalo dpt keje ngn kerajaan ni mmg best, ye ke? spa, jpa <-- penaja aku masa wat degree, x byr balik pun lagi the 25% of the rm70k loaned, huhu... masa depan terjamin.. :)

so i guessed that’s all for my report of the assessment, hope sum of you who would want to join PTD will get sum info and can imagine what will the PAC be like.. and me, still here.. continuing with my life, here in the deserted rural area of “Toronto”…..

PAC Part III

day 2 was the longest ever.. woke up at around 7, i prepared myself up for the next activity – kajian kes and case study… untuk kajian kes, the title was: “Siapa Pengganti Weng Kit?” heh, who’s weng kit? haha.. actually we were given this material to be read, about 5 pages in 5 minutes, a dialogue and some info of a company and their problem of financial aiding and recover. we are ought to solve it and decide who’s the one most suitable to be a substitute for the marketing manager, weng kit who is said to be irresponsible and not working hard enough to market their products… but as we read the material it seemed that weng kit is not actually wrong and they cannot put all the blame on him for not getting back the profit as expected…

and for the case study, it was about “Fazlin’s Dilemma” whereby she was asked by Harris Iskandar, a relative who’d helped her to get her current job to spy on a staff in her department, by peeking into his table to get some evidence and info since there were news heard by Harris of the staff’s wrongdoings. the Q was to figure out what should Fazlin do in that situation… what was Harris’s values…

then at around 11 i went into the computer lab to search some info for the pengucapan awam and public speaking. i decided to speak on Budaya for pengucapan awam and Social Illness for public speaking. such boring topics huh? what to do, hehehe… all in all the pengucapan awam was ok but the public speaking was such a disaster.. i kept reading the card all the time during the presentation and until now i really regret for choosing that topic on social illness.. I should have talk on martial arts, better I guess.. huhu.. but what to do.. pasrah je lah… pengucapan awam and public speaking is only 5 minutes for each person, tetapi penantiannya sesungguhnya satu penyeksaan yg amat… 22 ppl in a group.. ghee.. gabra sungguh…

petang tu we had to run round INTAN campus for 2.4 km!! i had this strategy set, hehehe.. I had to start in front, and keep jogging all the way to maintain the front place.. and ummul will be my bench mark, hehehe.. and guess what, it worked! i managed to finish it among the earliest, I guess the first 30 - 40, ok la tu kan, hehe.. the first round around the campus is fine, but in the second round, it was heavily rain, I got soaked in the rain, wet, couldn’t jog nemore, just walked, fast, hehe.. alhamdu lillah, slmt smp tp masyaAllah, sakitnya kakiku slps itu… bajetla tu, maklumla, x biasa berlari..

end of day 2….

PAC Part II

heh, just to pleased my mom actually to attend this assessment. she kinda insists me to try it out, so…. what the heck, just tried it out, anak yg solehah, hehehe... arrived at INTURA (INTAN Wilayah Utara) at 9 am and registered at the domestic office. supposed to put my luggage in the room after that but i just skipped the step and went through an online registration, which then made me to be one of the earliest participants to registration with a body no. 4!! hehe.. ya ampuuuunnn… the tag was so big, i think about 15 cm by 12 cm.. punyala besar to be gantung on the neck for the whole period of the assessment (rugila x de kamera, xdpt nk amik gmbr nombot yg besar tu!!). pas register, had to weigh and measure for height – 73 kg!! and a height of 161.5cm (162 actually, mamat tu x reti nk guna alat tu, ada ke?) pastu kene amik gmbr in group, number 1 to 5 – Bob, nasrul, kak Muna, me and Ati.. then only i took the luggage up to my room (yet to meet the rumet, she had put the things in oledi) and asked boy to go home since everything’s seemed to be fine.

so then i went to look for the room to take this english placement test (dunno wat placement is it about) bole plak aku sesat kat situ, haha.. sengal betull.. dah le panas, pakai baju hitam, siap pakai kot (but then only we know that we are not allowed to wear coats/blazers during the assessment) akhirnya, jumpa jugak bilik tu.. meet my rumet –ruslin haida binti alip (kak lin, a year older) here, hehe.. bole ngam, alhamdu lillah.. the test was only for 25 minutes but since there are too many of us, around 170-180 i guessed, so we split to two session. erm, brape eh soklan? aku pun x ingt.. if i’m not mistaken, 80 Qs kot, to be answered in 25 minutes. xde la susah tp bila dh byk sgt soklan omputeh ni aku jadik kompius plak, haha..

ptg plak ada ujian sahsiah – one paper is 130 Q’s to answered in 45 minutes, YES or NO type. seken one in MCQ, on PTD’s sahsiah.. ada 100 Q’s. balik pi balik mai, seme soklan was kinda same only, cuma dia pusing skit ayatnya tu.. letih sungguh nk jawab.. few of the questions yg aku ingt were: berapa banyakkan segitiga yg dpt anda lihat dlm rajah ini?

A. 12 B. 14 C. 16 D. 18

so, how many did you get, heh? hehehe.. aku kira 2 -3 kali dapat 16 je.. betul ke? hehe… tahle.. pastu ada byk soklan yg berkaitan ngn situasi di pejabat contohnye mcm kalo pekerja kita ada problem, how do we tackle it.. byk betul soklan mcm tu.. soklan ala-ala IQ skit pun ada gak diselitkan, contohnye mcm soklan segitiga tu la..

mlm tu nye aktiviti plak is penyelesaian masalah and problem solving. apa bezanya? of course the first one is you should be discussing in bahasa melayu and the later in english. the 170 – 180 of us are divided into smaller groups of 11. a facilitator helped us on what to do and a panelist is also there to do assessment on us. untuk penyelesaian masalah, the first problem is about pak mat’s will. we are to divide a piece of land to 4 of pak mat’s children, 3 boy and a girl. the shape is as shown:

after 15 minutes of discussion, the group managed to do so, aku la yg solve tu, hehehe… so can you do it? hehehe.. senang je kan~ mcm soklan IQ yg selalu kita buat.. the second problem is kinda hard, the groups didn’t make it although given 30 minutes. the question is to find who has the computer and who drink plain water. given 14 clues we had to arrange it to get to the answer, tp x dpt beb, huhu.. ala, mcm permainan DI MANA PARANG LADING yg men masa kursus motivasi dulu tu… susah la.. fenin.. hehe…

the second hour we proceed with problem solving. 11 of us divided into two smaller groups to construct 4 equal size triangles from 6 sticks of same length given.. huhu.. yg ni pun x dpt nk solve jugak.. only after the presentation BOB (Body no. 1) came out with the idea.. huhu.. do you know how? how do we construct 4 triangles of same size of 6 equal length of sticks? Go out the box guys, it’s 3Ds pyramid! demit!!!

the second problem we are back into 11 in a group. we are given a job and a weight, and we had to defense ourselves on why are we to be on the life boat since the ship is sinking. the boat can carry up to 350kg load to reach the land 100 nautical miles away in 5 days. i was a 65 kg nurse, hehehe.. finally we decided to bring on board a lady with her child, the nurse (that’s me, hehe), a retired civil servant, and an ustaz! hehe.. just for fun, I guess they just want to see how we communicate each other and how did we defend ourselves. so, just keep talking!! huhu…

so, end of day 1…

PAC Part I

reported at INTAN Wilayah Utara for PTD Assessment Centre (PAC) last Friday, April 15, after passing the PTD Test taken in January (my seken time actually, after failing once may last year, hehe…) now, let me line out my schedule for the 3-days assessment ---


Day 1
9-11 Registration
11-12.30 English Placement Test
12.30-2.45 Luncheon, Rest
3-3.45 Ujian Sahsiah
4.15-6.15 Ujian Sahsiah PTD
6.15-8 Preparation for next activity
8-8.30 Dinner
8.30-9.30 Penyelesaian Masalah
9.30-10.30 Problem Solving
10.30 End of Day 1

Day 2
6.30 Subuh Prayer
7-8.30 Preparation, Breakfast
8.30 – 9.30 Kajian Kes
9.30-10.30 Case Study
10.30 – 11 Coffee Break
11 – 1 Preparation for Pengucapan Awam and Public Speaking
1 – 2.30 Luncheon, Rest
2.30 – 4.30 Pengucapan Awam
4.30-5.30 Tea Break
5.30 – 6.30 2.4km Cross-Country
6.30 -7 Rest
7 - 7.30 Dinner
7.30 – 8.45 Rest, Prepare for Public Speaking
9 – 11 Public Speaking
11 End of Day 2

Day 3
6.30 Subuh Prayer
7 – 8 Preparation for next activity
8 – 8.30 Breakfast
8.30 – 10.30 Ala Parliament Debate
10.30 – 11 Coffee Break
11 – 12.45 Taklimat on PTD
12.45 – 1.15 Luncheon
1.45 Back home


so i guessed that’s for this post, to be continued and elaborated on each activities in the next entry. ;p

balik-kampung mode

i'm in balik-kampung-mode oledi. balik kampung this time is not for cuti cuti, had to attend this assessment thing near hometown, so its best to drop by mama's home first, so tonite can makan makan kat paksu's dissana. maybe should try makan makan at family's corner too i guess. makan aje yg diingat.

hey, what shall i be talking for the next three days man? or shall i just keep my mouth shut? huh!! will it be proper? will it be sufficient? just to make myself present way up in kedah with my mouth shut? heh, kinda weird huh. but i'm not really kinda ppl who can deliver ideas on the spot, especially in english la of kos, hehe.. isk isk.. susah banget sih.. wat to do? wait up for the report heh ;P

kenapa sekarang?

kenapa sekarang? kenapa tak dulu... read

two distinct successful achievement in their lives

their achievement at the age of 26 really make me proud, hehe.. mitra, a friend of mine, an ex-rumet at Etana back in 1999. very hardworking, but loves sleeping very much too, hehe... hebat betul mitra, being the first malaysian to be involved in the bionic eye project (eventhough i don't have any idea on what the heck it's all about, hehe) she completed her masters at scotland last year and now pursuing her phd in ostolia under UTM's lecturer sheme. got this newspaper cutting from utusan

dan thinking of kejayaan siti to held a solo concert way in london sumtimes made me feel the goosebumps on my hand and on my neck. this ultimate lady of pahang really showed her charisma and strong spirit to the world, and malaysia especially, that she could also bring malaysia to the eyes of the world, walaupun hanya dlm bidang nyanyian. she certainly had shown that she had the power and talent of doing so. can't wait to see the recorded video of the concert, tah ade tah tidak kat tv tu nnt. (masa mhi tnjk skit² video liputan konsert siti kat london tu, ada plak trnmpk naiza, x-rumet mitra too, kat depan malaysian hall tu, saje je tau nk interframe, hehe..)

dan aku, at the age of 26, over a quarter of a decade, masih di sini. tiada sebarang kejayaan besar. except for knowing on how to dress of course. like always been said by Ustaz, solah will surely bring you falah, at least now we know how to put on our dress, unlike when we were born, with not a single line of thread.. at least we know one thing, at least.. that's a falah too...

being twenty-something

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those Friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing That too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought You would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing And find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh And cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do Such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting Wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself.....and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Tell this to your twenty-something friends...maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion.........

(credits to cik-ayu and unkymoods)

mungkinkah suatu hari nanti?